Dear Gym,
Here’s a little advice. Don’t position cardio machines directly across from each other. EVER. I like to mind my own business when I run on the elliptical and my only worry should be someone noticing I have Glee songs on my ipod. - Although I usually turn it upside down if one of those delightfully happy songs is playing. - But last night, I had the privilege of running directly across from a stationary bike where Winnebago Man was cycling. Now, it wasn’t really Winnebago Man, but now you all have the visual. I don’t normally have anything against old men with moustaches (although I really should) but this bordered on harassment…provided I’m allowed to define harassment.
It’s normal to make eye contact, especially if you are working out DIRECTLY across from someone. But Winnebago Man stared at me for the majority of my 40 minute run. Almost every time I went to casually glance, BAM! Uncomfortable eye contact. And if by chance he was glancing down at his AARP magazine, my looking at him immediately jolted him back into our new awkward bond.
This is not a way to work out. I don’t want to make friends via telepathy at the gym. So please fitness centers, do me a kindness and arrange the equipment so we can all stare at each other’s asses like God intended.
